Duped

This is the week when things went pear-shaped. I sent an email to the person I had paid to help me publish my book and the email bounced. I looked at the small print to find out why it had bounced and it said the domain did not exist. Argh... I also noticed the logo had disappeared from the bottom of previous emails and also that the website had disappeared. Argh times two. 

Since September I had become increasingly annoyed at the way Steve Harrison of Amazon KDP Publishers was dealing with my requests. I had promises and bullshit but nothing substantial. Right from the start I felt uneasy about the way I was dealt with but having no knowledge of the publishing industry I felt this was probably par for the course, especially as he was irritatingly American. I initially chose the company because they laid out everything they would do for me for a price. I was beginning to think they were unprofessional but I did not expect they would disappear from view. The only other company to do this was Troubadour but they were much more expensive. How cheap they seem now!! I was also hassled by other companies I sent my synopsis to. Danielle witnessed one barrage I had from a phone call from another publisher. Trust me, there must be a very dark world in the publishing industry. 

Added to this, I joined FB groups for writers. Many boasted how they self-publish and it costs them nothing, others offer a service to get you started. Many published authors - surprisingly - find it difficult to string a coherent comment on the subject of writing!! I became cynical on all fronts. Even though I had written a book, I did not feel good about it. I was suspicious of the comments from Steve Harrison and irritated by the poor level of comments from those on the writing groups. The bar was so low, it has been an eye opener into the publishing world.

So what have I done about it? Well, I have reported fraud to the Federal Trade Commission and another fraud agency in California. I have also reflected on how much I have learnt from my experience. It has been an expensive opportunity for learning but I now know that I am confident in how I am going to publish the sequel.  Sammi has been a rock and has done a few searches for me. I am so glad he has my back. To be honest, if I wanted to make money, I should have become a cleaner. 

I never imagined I would sit down and write a book. It wasn't something I had on my bucket list so I went about things in an upside down way. I wrote the book and then wondered how to get it published. From here on, I can offer myriad advice on how to get published should you want to hear about it. 

Meanwhile, somewhere in the Middle East bombs are dropping. I am sorry that Trump is meddling in Iran. We have got rid of the leader but changing the culture where ordinary Iranians think it is OK to kill their brothers, mothers, sisters and daughters will take more than bombs. The only thing raining on me in the UK is too much water. I know I have been duped but I am safe. I am healthy and I am wiser. I have so much to be thankful for. I just wish I listened to my body more as my right heel is now giving me gip again after a lovely walk round Rushmere Park. Silly me on so many counts!

A break in the clouds and a lovely walk

Homeward Bound

My pollarded tree

And so it was that my time in Cornwall had come to an end. Mark returned from his trip to Malaysia to spend two nights sleeping on his own floor while two other friends and myself had the comfort of his beds. At least Syd the dog chose him to cuddle up to him! It was party time for OAPs. We played Polish Poker, had a few drinks and laughed a lot. This is confirmation for the other friends that I have been away with - yes - I did get up and make the teas and coffees far too loudly each morning. That is me, I'm afraid. 

I got Bridget Bar-dough going for Mark and made one loaf of bread for him while I was down in Cornwall. My sourdough starter, Sally, stayed in the fridge at home for the time I was away. She has been with me for quite some time now and rewards me with great bread. Having a sourdough starter is a bit like having a pet. 

The train journey home, although long, was surprisingly comfortable. As we sped through the countryside of southern England I noticed how much of it was under water. Fields were lakes and villages looked like isolated islands. I have never seen so much flooding and still it rains! I walked along the towpath to Danielle's on Friday - it was more of a paddle than a walk. On the way back the night sky was momentarily clear so I took a picture. Having a clear sky is quite unusual these days. 

Clear skies at night

Saturday, I was lucky enough to play a tennis match in dry conditions and then when I got home, I got the ladder out and pollarded the tree in my courtyard garden. On previous years my son has done this for me - now it is down to me to climb up a ladder and wield a chainsaw - picture that Sammi! It took most of the day as the battery on the mini-chainsaw kept wearing down. There was one dodgy moment when two branches were counter balancing each other and I thought one of them would topple on top of me while I was up the ladder. As I am writing this, you know I didn't come to harm. It started to rain again in the afternoon while I was chopping the tree so I gave up for the day. However, on Sunday after tennis, I got back in the garden to continue the job. This time I got hit in the head by a branch as I was trying to chop them up into smaller, more manageable chunks. Ouch! 

So with the last week of February ahead of me, I look forward to cold showers again. For a few years now I have cold showers from March 1st to September 30th. Once you get the habit, it is quite enjoyable and very refreshing. Along with this, I have lined up a long list of jobs to be done now the weather should be warming up - mostly painting and deep cleaning. Springtime heralds Spring cleaning! Fun!

Last picture from my holiday

In Celebration

 In celebration of being able to walk easily and for a long distance this year, I have promised myself that I will walk 300,000 steps this February and so far I am well on target. Last February I had an operation on my right heel to fix my Achilles tendon. This time last year, for three whole weeks, I was not allowed to put my foot on the ground, leave alone try walking. The pub, which is next to my home seemed a mile away when I wanted to hop there on crutches. It is so easy to forget how difficult doing normal things was for me just one year ago. My determination to do these steps is a real celebration of my overcoming last year's op.

Soggy Syd

This week I have had assistance getting my steps up. I am down in Cornwall and I have Syd to accompany me. Syd is a lively collie with no off switch. We go down to the beach, walk along the cliffs and play ball. Down on the beach he is still a naughty puppy and a bit of a tart. He likes to get anyone and everyone to pick up his ball and throw it for him. Embarrassing! I even tried to get Syd to swim in the sea. He wasn't having any of it. He likes his feet firmly on the ground.  

A February swim in the sea

I have also had Diane and Jeremy to keep me company for the week. Each time we left the house we got wet. Every single day it has rained the sort of rain that soaks through everything. Then on returning home the house turned into a Chinese laundry with clothes hanging everywhere to dry out. One day the sun was out when I was on the beach and I almost forgot that this was not normal. Before I got home, it started to rain again - the end of my brief joy. Getting wet inevitably makes for more work. This is where dogs have the advantage. One good shake and they are dry! 

A wee bit of sun between downpours

My Sunday walk without Syd took me to three beaches and through the town. Along the way and soaked through, I dived into the Windjammer, a bar with views of the bay, next to the museum. Not only did they not sniff at my sogginess or my fussiness, they recharged my phone and served the best food imaginable with a smile. Seeing what others were ordering, I would readily go back and try other dishes. Perhaps I should extend my stay.

We also have good reason to celebrate a Gold at the Winter Olympics. For the UK, Matt Weston going downhill head first faster than anyone else, got us the first medal ever in the Skeleton race. Well done Matt! I went skiing in Livigno rather a long time ago with a large group of friends. We are all in current agreement that the Bombardinos we drank should feature in the current Olympic events. Back then, we would race to the bottom and have bomdardinos as our standard apres ski. A bombardino is a mixture of brandy, advocaat, hot milk and cream! A welcome warm drink with lots of alcohol after a cold day on the slopes goes down easily. I feel bomardino-ing has traction to become a competitive event. We could even try doing multiple spins in the air on a snowboard after drinking them! Easy!

Lovely weather for Ducks

Saying it is lovely weather for ducks just reframes a bad day when it pours with rain. Unfortunately it does not make it any nicer however you look at it.  Oh, how it has rained. It was almost constant throughout the whole of this week. Rain stopped play. Matches and practises didn't happen. It rained and rained so much it felt like my whole week was disrupted. Apparently in the first week of February we experienced more than a month of rainfall. So it was fortunate that my trip with Diane and Jeremy to see Stonehenge was dry for the bit where you walk to the monument even though it started pouring again when we headed back to the car. 

Stormy skies

Stonehenge is older than the pyramids and it was a draw to people from across what is now Europe and Asia. There is proof that back in prehistoric times, there were "jet-setters" who came a long way just to see a circle of stones which must have been a very important pilgrimage for the effort it took to get there.  

These are not the only stone circles in the UK. They are the most famous. Close by is Avebury which has the world's largest neolithic monument - I've been there and a road cuts through a bit of it. I have also been to the one in Orkney too. These are no less impressive than Stonehenge. For me, it is the technology that went into getting the stones to that place and positioning them so that they align with the sun's movements. Also that people hundreds of miles away built the same type of monument at the same time. Mind blowing! 

Like cathedrals from the Medieval times, people really had to believe in what they were doing to make such a legacy for future generations. They had both skills and foresight back then - both of which we seem to be lacking in so many areas of our life now. News is filled with the slow drip drip of the fallout from the Epstein files. Even now, scumbag men are being protected through redacting files while little thought is spared for the women. There is no thought about learning from this. Perhaps those conspiracy theorists who have been thinking along the right lines that the rich and powerful have more control than I have given them credit for are right. The way our world is; if a similar edifice to Stonehenge were built today, no doubt there would be restricted access for the plebs and women would be offered as sacrifices as they currently are in the media. Just a thought.

As for me, I am in Cornwall for the next two weeks and hoping for sunshine along the way. Syd, the dog, will be my companion on country and beach walks. Meanwhile I'll be getting on with writing the sequel to Naser's first book. I am boosted by knowing Beneath the Regime has already been read on five continents. While I know my blog gets seen in over ninety countries. This is one of the amazing feats of technology - not so long ago global reach for someone like me would have been impossible. 

Diane and Jeremy at Trelissick Gardens before the next deluge

The job specs for motherhood

A day off from being a Mum

When I signed up for the job of being a Mum about forty years ago, I didn't imagine the range of tasks I would have to perform. This week has particularly stretched me. My wide remit as a Mum has included sorting out my son's tax and fixing a flat tyre for my daughter while still wearing my dressing gown.  

The tax issue was especially taxing! The final date for filing for 2024-25 was January 31st 2026. So on January 28th I got the call requesting help getting it done. There is nothing like doing something at the eleventh hour to focus the mind. So, as Sammi worked his way through the questions on the online form, I had to say whether they were relevant or not. UK tax is not straightforward and despite it having had a lot of the jargon taken out in recent times, there is still some dodgy wording specific to tax that laymen like me need to get our heads around. Let's hope I gave the write advice! HMRC is MTD in future. That's another thing I need to get my head around.

On the flat tyre front, Danielle's front wheel went flat on her early school run on a damp, dreary morning. She wheeled the bike with attached trailer to my garden. I got out my repair kit and closed the door on her. Why on Earth would I want to sit around outside with very little on at 9am on a January morning even if it is my Daughter who needs help? Mattaya woke up so I took her indoors - no problem! Then Danielle asked me to put the tyre back onto the wheel after she had fixed the puncture. I got the inner tube and tyre back on the rim and then made a coffee just so we could wait and see if the tyre went down. Yay. Bike repairs and tax advice are just part of my expertise. 

Then of course it was Danielle's MOT this week as well. Convinced the car would fail, she asked me to go along to the garage so that she could get home if the car was not road worthy. So I can add taxi service to my job spec as well. Danielle's car needed significant fixing so it is still in the garage! Luckily the bike got fixed!

Muddy clothes

There are things that I don't do well. After all these years I feel I should have better judgement as to when it is not a good idea taking the bike. Last Tuesday it was cold, wet and windy. I went out, got plastered in mud and then plastered the inside of my front door with the mud from my clothes as I peeled them off. Mathematically there has to be an intersection between these three variables where I should not take the bike. I still need to find that intersection.

I had a day out on Saturday. A day off from being a Mum. That was fun. I went to London with Diane and Jeremy to visit the National Portrait Gallery and later to a show. In the Portrait Gallery, we worked our way through history from the Tudors onwards, and of course, the pictures say as much about the reasons for having them painted as they do about the subjects. I loved it. I am not sure which was my favourite picture but I learnt what a plumbago is and that Charles ll took the thrown on my birthday just two years short of three hundred years before I was born. I noted he also had much nicer legs than I have. 

Not far away from the gallery, there was a Palestine demonstration of about 150,000 people with loads of police milling about. Despite the cease fire in Palestine, the IDF are still killing Palestinians as well as Lebanese and they are still blocking the crossing to Egypt. Will no government stand up and call Israel out for its genocide? I stand with those demonstrators - even if I didn't physically stand with them on Saturday.

My neighbour Totoro iconic umbrella

As for the show, we saw My Neighbour, Totoro. Loved it. A naughty four-year-old, a busy dad and magical puppets made for a wonderful evening's entertainment. 

Little Gratitudes

 

Big bling

I'll start with a very big gratitude. My son, Sam, graduated from Sussex University this week. He now has a masters and a job! So as a proud Mum, I went down to Brighton with Danielle and the girls in tow to watch him walk across a stage along with about two hundred other students who also had very proud parents watching on. The event had more than a touch of bling and Sanjeev Bhaskar, the Chancellor, gave an inspiring speech liberally laced with humour. Sam took his niece, Ezra-Mae on stage with him and now she wants to go to uni too. Not a bad plan for a five year old. 

The Ceremony

This brought back memories of my graduation way, way back. My ceremony was very formal and the dress code rigid - nothing as relaxed and celebratory as Sussex' affair. In contrast, Sam's first degree came from a university established in 1413 and that graduation involved being tapped on the head with a leather cap of similar age to the buildings he studied in! Back up in Scotland, Lucky (Sam's old dog) came along to Sam's first graduation and was welcomed by all. The dog had attended classes and was well known to town and gown alike. When I went up to visit Sam in St. Andrews, I walked Lucky while Sam was busy and lots of people would tell me my dog looked just like Lucky - I'd say it was Lucky. 

Lucky was lucky  - he had a good life and was loved by all as he loved everyone. That is so true for us too. When we show love and gratitude this is reflected back to us. We have so much to learn from our pets - but not things like peeing on lamp posts, of course. 

I am also very thankful for the algorithms on my FB page at the moment. The world has gone way off kilter and it is a bit scary just listening to the news. These algorithms reinforce my beliefs about there being wonderful people in this big wide world. Trump currently features greatly on my FB page - and not because he is wonderful. The BBC call his behaviour disinhibited - a very polite term for plain crazy. This is a lovely term which I will adopt for people who fit the bill in my sphere - I just hope someone makes a counter claim on Trump lying about our commitment to Afghanistan. At the very least, brave soldiers who die in battle are not the losers Trump has said they are. 

I also like the term, TACO - TRUMP ALWAYS CHICKENS OUT - something he has thankfully done this week and then rebranded his annexation of Greenland / Iceland (a variable) as a victory. A comedian couldn't make up a character as warped and sociopathic as the world's most powerful idiot. Trump's behaviour is reduced to a Mexican dish! Sadly, America doesn't see the Emperor without his clothes and no one seems remotely bothered about his crass behaviour on the other side of the pond. Wakey, wakey!!

I remain hopeful though. All those amazing graduates I saw this week moving into the workforce can change our world.. As Orphan Annie said, "The sun will come out tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar..." For those in the UK, behind the clouds there is still a sun that shines somewhere in the world. This is hard to believe when we have had so much rain this week. There are still good things happening in the world somewhere.

Conflict

Wet Bristol

My mind has been at war with itself for some time now. I can pinpoint when it first started and that was when I finished writing the book. As a retired, old dear who used to teach I found this new status of writer at odds with having produced something that I actually hadn't planned to write. What is worse, the process of writing fills my head so that almost every waking moment is dominated by thoughts of the book I penned. Basically my mind has been a whirl and a fugue despite knowing that it has been read on five continents already.

No more. I have just finished an NLP course down in Bristol and I can now say my head is clear and focused. I know what I want and I can see a clear path to my own personal redemption. I can tell people, "I am a writer." That is something I avoided before. I would say that I have written a book which is very much the "doing" and not the "being". I couldn't own the title of writer. I enrolled on the course for very selfish reasons. I wanted to sort my head out. However, many of the participants were therapists and professionals in the field - a fascinating bunch. They were in it for their career development. 

I got to know some of them, we went out for evening meals from the hotel and walked the sodden streets in the dark. Bristol is a beautiful place. I quite fell in love with the city.  On our trip to a restaurant, one landmark pub was pointed out to me. The Llandoger Trow, a pub dating from 1664 which is said to be the inspiration for Treasure Island - renamed as the pub, Admiral Benbow Inn in that story, and, Robinson Crusoe was created after Daniel Defoe supposedly met Alexander Selkirk there. Even though it was pouring down, the thought that one building should inspire such works from two great writers gave me a big buzz. Wow! For once, I chose the right clothes for the weather. Others in the group were not as prepared. Soggy feet and wet knees seemed to be the norm and there was rivalry over who was the wettest. Smart people sinking to competitive banter. Even I got the blame for their sogginess as I had jumped the puddles! 

A very famous pub

So while all the conflict in my mind was being washed through me, my thoughts were with Naser, who has returned to Syria, looking for prospects for his future. The day after he left, the UK government sent me travel advice warning me of heightened tensions in Syria making it a "no-go" for British travellers. He might be travelling on a Syrian passport, but he was heading for a danger zone nonetheless. Now over the weekend he hasn't read my whatsapp messages. I am just a little worried. 

The conflict dominating this week is Trump's desire to take over Greenland. Me thinks there must be financial gain from this offensive move otherwise why would he bother. Anyone who is gratified by taking a Nobel Peace prize awarded to someone else has to have a rather large screw loose. Fortunately I was in a classroom and missed the argy bargy. 

So, now I am at the end of an intensive course at the Future Inn, Bristol. I don't often rate "chain" hotels. In reflection, I like the hotel even though this one didn't serve fresh coffee - errr. BUT... the restaurant went the extra mile to make a wild mushroom tagliatelle from scratch. Thank you, chef! You made my stay.