Rejection

Happy about Spring!

In a week that begins to look like lots of other weeks in my life, I had one really busy day at the London Book Fair. My aim was to dip my one good toe in the water to see if I could find a publisher for my book. I set off from my little village for the train station on my crutches knowing that it would be a long day hobbling. I pre-planned my route round Olympia to reduce the amount of travel and I thought I had the ideal bag for getting to things quickly while holding two crutches – I don’t think there is an easy-access bag designed for those who wield crutches. Have I spotted a gap in the market?

Each time I dug down for something from my rucksack, my crutches inevitably fell on the ground and someone would rush over to help me. Actually, I am quite adept at squatting on my one good leg and picking stuff up from the floor. Other things are much more difficult. Waiting for lifts instead of popping up stairs is much harder for me to deal with. I now realise that I am the sort of person I hate to be behind in a crowded place. More patience is needed for this.

The fair itself was quite overwhelming. The hall was chokka with literary types. Lots of people on their badges announced themselves as authors – something I aspire to. I just put myself down as being a writer and editor. Nothing too grand! My contact at the fair was really helpful and again this helped by directing me to the best people to have a conversation with. All those I spoke to were really positive about my book and so far I have one rejection. This rejection was so complimentary and was written so nicely I wanted to jump up and down on my bed except that would have hurt my leg. I just bounced a bit and smiled a lot.

The journey home was not without incident. My train was cancelled. Hanging around on the station, I met a magazine owner who gave me his details – another positive link there – and a woman who whose initials are LB and she lives in LB! For once, hanging around waiting wasn’t a bad experience despite the nip in the air. I got to Wolverton Station and seeing the steep stairs to the bridge over the railway line made want to hunker down on a bench and wait til I had regained some energy. This is where I think the world smiles on us. One of the passengers took one of my crutches and walked slowly up and over the bridge with me. In my temporary state of invalidity, so many people rush to help. Thank you…

Meanwhile, back on the home front, I have seen lots of my grand daughters again this week. At my place, I accidentally let Mattaya bump her head on the coffee table. She loves standing holding on to fingers, unfortunately she made a drunken lurch forward while holding on to me. Whoops… This is probably the initiation she needed to my accident-prone life. Ezra-Mae still remembers the post box incident. I think this serves as a warning to the dangers of being with Nana! Just wait til I am back on two legs.

 

and... so it goes...

Last week Danielle took me along the road of cones to the land of potholes. This week, I thought life would be much quieter. I was wrong. On Monday evening Danielle wanted to take me out for a meal. I could hardly refuse. Any change of environment means excitement.- small joys and all that.  She suggested Mii&U. We went there. It was closed. So we popped into Wolverton where most of the eating places there were closed too. It was a Monday after all. Danielle particularly wanted noodles. We ended up in a little Chinese place opposite the church. It was authentic. All the nether ends of animal featured on the menu – not my idea of appetizing but authentic nevertheless! Because everything had soya, I did not eat at all. Danielle had braised beef and noodles with fried egg and sausage. The sausage reminded me of my “rat” incident – nuff said!

Ezra-Mae and Mattaya shared Danielle’s meal. We left the restaurant and the first thing Ezra-Mae did was throw up over the pavement. From finishing her meal to being sick took about five minutes. We laughed but not at Ezra-Mae. The whole evening had been a laugh-out-loud disaster. The girls were still hungry, Danielle couldn’t eat the meat as it had uncertain origins and I had nothing but tap water. Mmmm… not going near there ever!

Tuesday, Sophie came to visit. We went to the pub, sat in the beer garden and soaked up the Spring sunshine while sipping vino. This was a much more congenial trip. Now I am on crutches, I can get around the village – just. Getting to the pub is now a doddle. On my first circuit, I struggled getting up the slope after the Horse Tunnel. Two men on bikes followed me through and offered to give me a piggyback up the hill. How nice! I must have looked like a maiden in distress. Every day little things get easier, although it still surprises me how quickly I tire.

Tuesday night I got up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet when I noticed muddy cat paw prints all over the floor of my shower. I was convinced they were not  there when I went to bed. Was the cat still in my house? I spent the rest of the night listening out for noises of cat. This would not have been the first time I have had feline visitors – but never at night before. I never did find the cat and despite this, it still ruined my sleep. Errrr.

G&T chocolate and big glasses of G&T

Wednesday – Anita came to stay – her promise was to clean my house. We did the shopping that I was going to do on Monday until the meal when tits up. No problem. All sorted on that front. I made a generous gin and tonic as I was making dinner. I forgot which bit of the pouring I had got to and poured a double double… After dinner we played chess with one dodgy piece. I had actually dropped the original bit under the coffee table – whoops. I won. In revenge Anita fell over my bad leg! 

Spot the difference

The next day – still standing, we made it to the village coffee morning. On the way home, I struggled once more to climb up the slope from the Horse Tunnel. There were two men nearby both protesting they were older than the other – where can one find a knight in shining armour when I need a piggyback?

I have since been up a small step ladder to weed a bit of my garden that is on top of the bin shed. I now know I can do steps with crutches. This is progress! One step at a time. 

Failed repair job- the lead burnt out on my vacuum cleaner. errrr

Potholes and Traffic Cones

The road I refer to is the M25. If ever there was a road not fit for purpose, that is it. My hospital is in Kent so each visit is quite a trek but well worth it. Danielle, my chauffer for this trip, drove with consummate skill, scoring 98% on my insurance app and entertained two small girls at the same time – brilliant! Along the way we came across so many cones and traffic restrictions but no workmen. I would put money on it that nothing had happened to the roadworks since the first time I went to visit. If we had been in Singapore the entire orbital would have been completely retarmacked before 3am one morning and traffic would be flowing as normal by rush hour. Why can’t we be more like that?

We stayed overnight in Maidstone at a hotel with a swimming pool so the girls could have a swim. I sat on a lounger with my leg propped up, silently criticising people’s swimming styles. Misery had set in. I wanted to show them. Errrrr. I want to swim!

After swim!

I warned Danielle before we set off that potholes in Kent are so much worse than round where I live. There are lots of very narrow lanes around the hospital and all of them are pitted with gaping holes, large enough to damage the chassis. Very quickly she got used to swerving and turning the trip into a slalom. Where are those men from Singapore to fix our roads? 

This week my trip to Benenden was to have my back slab removed and a full cast put on. If I had left the back slab on for much longer, it would have disintegrated. Almost every morning I needed to rewrap it as the bandage came loose while I slept. Having a full cast is progress as I can now put my foot on the ground. It’s a bit painful but it is so much better. I can even hold half a cup of coffee and move now - happiness almost restored. The wound from the op is about three inches long and is healing nicely according to the experts.

I also have a “boot” to put over the plaster. I am not sure how well I will get on with this as my toes hang over the front of it. The size up fitted me like a clown’s shoe which would have been a trip hazard. For now walking through puddles is not going to happen.

Being on two feet has made it possible for me to tidy up the kitchen and use the dishwasher. Again, this is a big bonus. Meanwhile, when I am not spending half the morning doing something that used to take me ten minutes, I am writing Naser’s story – hopefully for publication. To date, I have written more words about one thing than I have ever written before. Being limited in moving around is a bonus when writing a book!

Thump Trump is my meme from now on. Thump baby, Thump. I was heartened to see the crowds welcoming Zelenskyy in London and the thousands waving Ukrainian flags in the USA. I bet the Zelenskyy meeting with King Charles was the equivalent of the middle finger. Diplomacy 101. 

Hitting the Road

 

Full throttle in Tescos 

With a bit of planning Danielle drove me in my car to Tesco. It felt like a grand day out as it was the furthest I had been since the operation. Tesco is no big deal but just like COVID times it represented a change of scene. I was determined not to have a wheelchair to get round the shop. To me this would be a sign of giving in to failure. To start with it was a bit tricky with two crutches and a trolley but soon realised I could hop, hang onto the trolley and put the crutches on top of the shopping. The wheels moved freely so through doing that I could get up a bit of speed up and down the aisles.

Danielle walked beside me with Mattaya in another trolley giving me a spotter in case I fell. I managed quite well considering. I limited my route around the shop by getting all the veg at the same time and then all the dairy stuff so I did not need to cover my tracks. However, by the time I reached the checkout I was done in. I never imagined shopping to be so exhausting. On my way round the shop so many people offered their support and asked what I had done. It was quite a social outing, even en route to the exit, I was asked if I wanted help with the trolley. The world really is a lovely place. Danielle brought the car round to the door and by that time I was really thankful I did not have to get to the parked car. Perhaps a Tesco Express would have been more manageable in retrospect. 

The way home was fraught. Mattaya was hungry and let us know - constantly. There was loads of shopping to be brought in but most importantly we needed to get a starving soul fed. We managed it. Once you have a happy baby, everything else is possible. The big downside of my grand day out was that I had hurt my other heel so much I could not stand up. I spent two days walking on my hands and knees for the most part and even now it is more painful than my bad leg. Silly me!

When I was getting in the car to set off to the shop my neighbour ran out to me. He thought I had fallen off my bike. I always say what a lovely village I live in. He offered to help if I needed anything. Even the pub jokingly said they could wheel me home in a wheelbarrow. 

A full set of crutches plus

Diane and Jeremy came round on Friday for coffee and then a trip to the pub. Before this op I never considered popping to the pub as part of my training regimen but now I realise how much effort I need to garner to get through the door, I’ll certainly include it in my new training programme when I am back on two feet. 

And so, this coming week I am off to hospital once more and this means I will be able to put weight on my bad leg. I can’t wait. I imagine life to be so much better on two legs however dodgy they may be. The biggest problem with this operation is fear of rupturing the repair of the tendon. That is why it takes so long. Patience is something I don’t possess in any quantity, unfortunately. 

Ups and Downs

Highlight of the week. Trip to the Barley Mow 

Nearly two weeks since the op and here I am still sitting on the sofa. My world is tragically small but I know that is not going to be that way for long. I am filling my time writing a book about Naser and Syria. So far, so good on that front. I think I’m ready to do Syria as my Mastermind speciality. Google has a record of the strange trail of things I have checked up on by now. I just wonder how those algorithms work in cases such as mine.

I titled this blog; Ups and Downs as this is what I take so much time doing. I am getting pretty nippy on the stairs. I go up on one leg and two hands. I can reach down to pick things up on one crutch and I can get my evening glass of wine from the kitchen to the coffee table by crawling and moving it along the floor in front of me. I continue to show Mattaya how to crawl – I hope she is impressed! Some things have just become routine as my new way of existing.

There have been a few blips though, I fell into the wardrobe. Easily done! I was balancing on a crutch on my left side and holding the doorknob with my right hand… Oops, no hands. I needed a t-shirt so I flung the crutch backwards onto the bed, leaned in to grab the t-shirt when the knob fell off the door! I fell in headfirst – silly me. Narnia revisited!

Diane and Jeremy said there are adverts on television advertising aids to help the elderly around the home. The particular one they say I should try and emulate is  the one where a sprightly, middle-aged woman enters the shower with a fixed smile and wrapped in a towel. Apparently, the towel remains wrapped around the body and dry throughout the shower. Handy! I have been working on the fixed smile as I perch on the stall in the shower (no towel needed). However, a soap on a rope would be a useful addition to my routine. Showering with a plastic bag tied on the cast tied up with a pink ribbon has been easy. This technique has been 100% successful so far.

I am also getting creative in finding ways to get myself clad with just one hand while balancing on a crutch. Putting knickers on is my biggest challenge. I also only wear jumpers that have a front pouch so I can carry my phone. Sleeping has caused the most problems for me. I started off with a pillow under my poorly leg. This pillow always ended up on the floor so I gave up. Then after a week, the strapping around the cast began to disintegrate overnight. The fluffy cushioning pushed through the bandages. Danielle brought Shadow’s bandages over to do a repair job. This lasted one night and now that strapping is also falling off after a night’s sleep. I have nearly two more weeks before the cast gets changed. I can see a big apology coming on about the state of my dressing when I see the doctor.

Ezra-Mae is very concerned about my poorly leg. I told her a doctor cut it open to make it better. She has promised to look after me. So far, so good – just a bit more training needed to get her to do some chores… child labour!

Meanwhile, I have visitors who come and see me, make coffee and sort themselves out. I got to the pub in the rain with Danielle as my spotter. It is a bloody long way on one leg. My standards are slipping on all fronts. The house hasn’t been cleaned for two weeks and I am OK with that as I know I’ll be more mobile once I have a new cast - not long to wait now… Yippee!

 

Me getting my shoe off after a trip to the Barley Mow- Danielle likes these compromising pics

Ouch

I set off to Kent this week to have my heel hacked. Literally. The surgeon has sawn off a chunk of bone and reattached a cleaned-up achilles tendon. Dave from the Community Orchard asked for the bonemeal to help the plants grow but the surgeon said that wasn’t possible. I left a bit of me behind. The hospital I used is amazing and it was NHS. It is a calm haven where everything runs so smoothly. There I was answering the questions of the anaesthetist and then a nurse was asking me if I wanted to sit up. Marvellous stuff. All done. A lady phoned me up the morning following the operation to ask if I was OK. She seemed genuinely interested in my welfare – how unusual!

Jane and Cliff – friends from long, long ago – looked after me, ran me around and made me feel really comfortable. It is always lovely catching up with them. They are my “go to” place as they live close to Benenden – sadly, they have been stuck with me imposing myself on them.

Getting sorted out was nothing short of a military campaign. Sammi is on my car insurance now so he got the train to Appledore on the marshes and then cycled to Tenterden after he had finished his lecture. When he got to Tenterden he was a bit lost so he called up. Cliff inadvertently redirected him – so he did a bit of a tour of the town in the dark. No problems – he found me eventually.

So with the bike, the crutches and paraphernalia packed in my car we set off for Cosgrove. We got home about half eleven. Poor old Sammi was exhausted. Now he is looking after me. Coffee on tap being my biggest demand, but I still manage to get up in the morning before him. 

This bit is especially for Sam’s friends who don’t know what he is doing. I understand that his commitment to keeping in touch is pretty low. Extenuating circumstances can be blamed such on uncle duties and a Nokia 3310 – no joke!

Meanwhile, I am captive to my heel, and just hopping around the house as I can’t do any weight-bearing on my right leg for two weeks – that will get faster – I am in training. I have a Zimmer frame, thanks to Diane on the top floor, my crutches on the middle floor and Diane’s four-pronged walking stick in the basement. I get up and down stairs on my knees or bottom. Currently, I totter on one leg and a crutch to pull my knickers up after a visit to the loo or get in a bridge on one leg on the bed to get myself dressed. Not a pretty picture. The biggest problem is carrying anything. I haven’t worked that bit out yet. Next challenge - the pub done and dusted!

Returning from the Pub!

Letting things Slip

A while ago Sophie gave me a flavoured gin she didn’t like. It is apple and cinnamon flavoured. I put it in the boot of my car and wrapped it in a cloth bag to protect it. I remembered it was there but every time I thought about bringing it indoors, I had too many bags to carry. Enough was enough… my hands were laden with sports stuff and shopping but even so, I thought I had just enough space to pop it into my shopping bag that also had my handbag in it. I brought it indoors.

I smelled gin! The lid had popped off and about an inch of gin had soaked through my handbag and puddled at the bottom of my shopping bag. I washed the handbag and rinsed the inside of the shopping bag but still there was a distinct smell of gin. On my more recent outing to Tesco I was well aware that I exuded an odour of gin!! All I needed to make the image of a lush total was fluffy bedroom slippers and hair rollers. Hic!

I need not worry about the smell anymore. The bag that had the gin leak now smells of toilet bleach. The bottle I bought at Tesco had a pin-prick hole in it. This is not exactly a wholesome smell but rinsing the bag out has resulted in my shower smelling really clean.

I can also report that I no longer need to wobble on the loo. A long time ago Ezra-Mae stood on the seat cover and reached for the tap. This dislodged the fittings that helped the lid stay in place. Sammi then "fixed" it... a temporary solution actually. The rubber bungs had slipped inside so the lid became totally unstable. Jeremy has now saved me from future wobbles and slips. Thanks to his nifty repair job, I can poo without fear!

Toilet seat sorted so I have no fears when I am on one leg. Over this week I have been making a pile of things I need to take to the hospital – medication, baggy clothes, letter,  a big plastic bag to cover the cast and I have made a garter to seal the top of the plastic bag for showering. It reminded me of my school days and wearing fat elastic garters to keep knee-length hockey socks up over the pads. Life has gone full circle.

I went to IKEA with Danielle to get some stuff to make life potentially easier when I become a hop-a-long. As Danielle had Mattaya in the stroller, we went up in the lift in the store. Sharing the lift, a lady had both her children in a trolley sitting on a car rug. I asked if they were expensive. She said yes, very. I asked were they flat-pack. She laughed and said yes and very high maintenance. I just wonder which aisle she picked them up in. They are probably named Sven and Helga so I could look them up, I suppose. So onto the shopping, along with a basket to put toiletries in in the shower – that is so I don’t need to bend down on one leg -  I bought plants and plant pots – these are things I cannot resist. I wanted a stool to rest my knee on but I forgot that. I looked but I just couldn't decide. I can’t even remember the names of the things I looked at. I didn't even look for Sven or Helga. This means I am back to square one on the stool search. At least I already have one in the shower. 

This week, I went to visit Nicolas, who lives in Towcester, with Naser. Nataliia is in Odessa with Philip, the baby. so it was a boys’ night in and I tagged along! There are a few English jokes I just love besides Eric, the horse. The ones that start, “What’s the difference between…..” My favourite for English teachers is – What is the difference between a sentence and a cat? This led to scrolling Google and then asking ever more silly jokes that just don’t translate. To me, that makes them even funnier. I should have taken the gin that night!

Mattaya the Marmite eater

Mattaya laughs at everything - probably even my jokes. That makes me laugh. Danielle brought her over for lunch and she sat at the table and had Marmite on my sourdough. Thank Goodness she likes Marmite. I am not sure I could cope with a grandchild who refused to eat it. Danielle reckons I’ll be able to lean on the stroller and rock Mattaya back and forth while standing on one leg. These are Danielle’s future plans for my babysitting. I'll probably need a pain killer in a bottle if I do that. Let’s see! 

My we world