TRAUMATIZED

Traumatised is how I feel at times and so will you be if you get to the bottom of this blog as it is going to be two week's worth. I set off on my cruise last week for Norway not really knowing what to expect but I was looking forward to getting away. On the book publishing front things were coming together after three edits to get the Americanisms out that had been put in on the first edit. Also, I was on the phone at 2am on the morning of my trip to sort out a few final adjustments. Will it all be worth it? Sometimes I wonder. It is just one more thing to make my hair turn greyer- or is that grayer? 

So, after a lack of shut-eye because I tossed and turned while my head spun with worries all night long, I got to the BIG boat "parked" at Southampton but my first impressions were not good. It was a cross between Witherspoons and Butlins on board - I don't really know either establishment too well but this is what I imagine them to be like. The staff working for the cruise line came from all over the world but they had one common denominator. They were all "Manuels" They knew nothing if you asked a question. My lack of sleep added to my initial irritability. However, the coffee was exceptionally good so things started to look up pretty early on. 

Lester from St. Lucia automatically knew exactly how I liked my coffee. The place where he worked was closest to my cabin so it was naturally where I gravitated to.  He seemed to be on duty and serving at the drinks counter almost all the time. That was amazing customer service. He knew my order and there were thousands on board. Wow.... the super hero of my voyage. To be honest all the crew were friendly, they were just not too au fait with the anything beyond their remit. I  bumped into a cruising barrister  - I just wondered if he was a coffee expert!

I met up with "singles" on board. These were a collection of the widowed, divorced and recently dumped. They made my trip! I could have been alone amidst the horde if it were not for our evening pre-drink chats. We collectively agreed the food was under par - odd in some circumstances. I could have taught them how to make hummus as theirs was just mashed chickpeas! Very odd. I also had an inedible baked brie, the size of a squash ball, that had the texture of a soggy donut. 

The on board entertainment was also a bit suspect. Not sure about the credentials of the choreographer for the dance shows - especially the ABBA one, but as things go, it was entertaining but probably for the wrong reasons. It is easier to talk about the bad bits rather than the things that go well. 

As I thought I was going to be on crutches, I prebooked the onshore excursions. The first one was to a reconstructed Viking Village and then on to a copper mine and museum. The Viking experience was super - there we learnt that the women had control of everything inside the fence and the slaves were not really slaves as there were laws that governed their protection.  The trip to the museum after the morning's experience was done at whirlwind speed  and with far too many participants for comfort. Nobody could look at the exhibits or read anything as the docent kept rushing us to the next bit. She kept saying, "We have a tight skedule." errrrr. Considering how much you pay for the trips, you would have thought time planning would have been better. That trip was to Haugesund.

Some super-human sized swords waiting for Arthur

Utstein Monastery- direct translation by me.. out rock

Dive bombing gull

Haugesund

The next trip I did was in Flaam. The tour guide on our coach had a lovely way with English. She told us the safety rules before we set off and pointed out the red hammers in the bus which could be used to break our glasses. I think they would also have broken our noses had we tried them out. My excursion went up a mountain to a hotel  just so we could taste weak coffee and have a Danish. We were there for the spectacular view but the mist enveloped us and this was followed by a brief flurry of snow. An American sitting near me all but blamed the tour company for the lack of view due to the weather. Oh yeah!. The cruise through the little Fjord was lovely and fortunately for the American, nothing was obscured by mist or snow at any point along the way.  Gulls circled and dive-bombed us almost down to deck level. One man said he would go to the Casino that evening if he was hit. I am not sure whether he wanted to be hit by the gulls' poo or not. Perhaps luck was on his side! 

The final tour in Stavanger took us to the Utstein Monastery. It is the only surviving monastery in Norway as the reformation brought the destruction of all the others. Our tour guide, Juan, was brilliant and made the trip. His attention to detail and knowledge delivered with humour were spot on. I also now know that Stavanger used to be a smelly place because of all the fishing. In the sunshine, it certainly looked like a pretty good place to settle. Of all the places we saw, I think this one was my favourite. I picked up a few local words. They are written in a way that makes it clear what they describe. It is as easy as en, to, tre.   On a cruise, you really don't get to feel a place though, as you are always short of time. Maybe for this reason, cruising is not for me. 

Someone is reading a pretty good book onboard 

Cruising is not for everyone. There had been a murder onboard the very boat I was on not two weeks before my trip. Rumour has it that a stag party went awry and the father of the bride came to a sticky end. For this man, cruising was clearly not for him. I just wonder if the marriage went ahead. Maybe there will be a book about it! 

Homeward bound

Now I am home, fully linked to the internet, ready to resume my swim training for the 5k and already in recovery from drinking too many cocktails. This leaves me with just one small question.... after reading all this, are you traumatised?

Very Special

The highlight of this week was the VE80 celebrations. I twisted Danielle's arm to go to the Milton Keynes Rose for the event and beacon lighting ceremony. Ezra-Mae and Mattaya stayed up well after their bedtime for this because I said it was historically important and to keep them happy Danielle bought some street food - a box of chips decorated with wartime photos! 

The brass band and singers entertained with songs from that era and a Ukrainian Group danced and sang for us as well. All in all, it was something I am glad I was a part of. I felt quite emotional even though the war was long since over when I was born. I think the idea that when that war finished, people expected a better world and this made that day so special for all generations. We got the NHS, promises of peace and a new world order that made all those lost in action worth the sacrifice; but when I look at our world today, we are in such a mess and we are heading for bigger and worse. Probably the biggliest bad thing ever. Who knows? It is as if we forget history and learn nothing from it. 

I enjoyed myself so much at the event, I did not realise how much I had overdone the walking and standing up. Once again I struggled and lost the ability to walk. Poor Danielle drove me home when she was exhausted and then had to get back to her place, get the girls indoors and sort the car out. I became a total wimp and did not walk at all on Friday. I couldn't. Rest has helped and I am getting back to normal. Silly me!!!

In the car on the way back, we tried some cold chips, or rather a cold chip. Definitely not to be recommended even when the late night munches attack. All in all, happy memories - Danielle will remember my singing, if only to laugh about it.  I am sure! 

I looked after Shadow this week too. She is a quiet old girl who is a trip hazard around the house. I woke her up early in the morning and she nearly jumped out of her skin. Danielle bought me a bottle of crocodile pee as a thank you. I think it might taste of gin. Watch this space!

One Sunday, I went over to Stevenage. It is five years since Mike died of COVID. Ann scattered the remainder of his ashes while we stood around and remembered him. It was a lovely day, Thank you, Ann!

Remembering Mike

In contrast to all the bad things that are happening in the world, the weather has been kind and my garden is full of colour. I now have alliums bursting into bloom all over my courtyard and I am almost at the point where I'll need a machete to beat a path to my door. When Sophie popped over on Saturday morning we sat outside and had our coffee. The birds were singing in the background and all was well with the world. Well, almost. If only there wasn't war! 

My beautiful garden

Unbelievable

 As you know, I am off on a cruise this month. I am a little excited now it is drawing nearer even though I am not sure how much I'll like the experience of cruising, I had originally planned it as I thought I would be too immobile to get around and do touristy adventures. Now I am s

I can just see my lost papers!

ure I can do almost anything at a slower pace than I was used to. The timing of the trip was important as I wanted a cheaper deal and also dates that wouldn't clash with appointments and a few social activities already on my calendar.

This is the unbelievable bit. I was given a hospital appointment to get the results of an MRI that was done on my left foot at the beginning of April. The appointment was for the 20th May when I am away. I contacted the hospital and told them when I was away and my new appointment has come through for the 4th November. Arghhhh! This is six months I have to wait to get a new appointment. I believe someone is taking the piss. My MRI results will be well out of date by then. 

I also did an unbelievable thing this week. I lost a really important bit of info as I cycled over the Iron Trunk Bridge. I did not realise there was a cross wind but there must have been. I had three sheets of folded paper in the pouch of my sweatshirt along with my phone. As I cycled over the bridge the paper flew over the side and landed in the reed bed. There was absolutely no way I could reach it. Lesson to be learnt, stow everything securely. Argh!

Other things are equally unbelievable. I am now living in an area that is controlled by the Reform Party. I looked up the stats for my constituency. My area is 85% white and mostly rural. It is not a place I would consider to be too disaffected and it is certainly not impoverished. The local council elections have made Nige a happy chappy. I can't imagine how his immigration soundbites and schmoozing with Trump could have persuaded people that his party would make our lives better. We'll see.

Sammi has set a seed in my mind that I should do the Brighton Swim on July 5th. There are three distances where you swim parallel to the beach. I personally fancy the 5km but the cut off timing for the swim is 2 hours and 30 minutes. I have already done this distance in the pool and can do it in 2 hours 15 minutes. I am now wondering with the sea conditions whether I'll be able to complete the course within the time limit. What to do? 

Danielle took Sammi back to Brighton this week and had a short beach break with the girls. What a lovely week to be beside the seaside. From the pictures the girls looked like they thoroughly enjoyed their time. Mattaya is the ice cream queen. It would have been the prefect break if Danielle hadn't overstayed her parking by 20 minutes and picked up a big fine. Unbelievable! 

Lurking Dangers

Another wonderful day at the community orchard

It was the Orchard Blossom Celebration this last Saturday and as always, I have a tinge of excitement tinged with nerves that these events will all go well. The weather is the biggest variable and with a twenty percent chance of rain, I was not expecting the lovely weather we had. We also had new gazebos which I think helped the flow of people through the length of the orchard. All went well. Everyone was convivial and  I think I forgot that I had a healing foot and that was where the trouble lurked. Towards the end I was almost wanting someone to chop  my sore heal off. 

Sammi turned up from Brighton and helped with the heavy bits at the orchard event and then stayed at Danielle's to help her out and have some family time at her place. Danielle set up stall to sell some of my resin art. Barry played music so it was a family affair as well as a gathering of my friends, Diane and Jeremy, Nataliia, Nicolas and baby Philip. Despite the pain, I have happy memoires. 

I got home after what seemed like a very long day, and managed to get to the pub for a meal with Diane and Jeremy so I couldn't have been that bad. Diane and I limped and lurched our way along while Jeremy mocked our limitations in mobility - Thanks Jeremy! I thought it was funny. Today is another day as they say and I am almost back to moving smoothly again. 

Danger lurks in lots of places. This is a shout to Naser's bravery or perhaps to his poor short-term memory. Earlier this week he cycled over to me after he had had a hair cut. I told him the barber had missed a bit. He laughed. He thought it was a tease but the barber really had missed a big chunk on top of his head. I offered to cut it!!! Naser accepted and this is where the bravery bit comes in... during lockdown, I cut Naser's hair and he cut mine. It was what we all did back then. We did the hairdressing bit in the garden and this is where I accidentally made a hole in the back of his head with the shaver. It was about the size of a 10p piece and, to be honest, he would never have noticed if I hadn't giggled. In the garden there were no mirrors. I could have got away with it! Regardless of this moment of terror back in 2020, he let me chop the bit the barber missed. No giggles. This time he watched me in the mirror. I hope all is forgiven if not forgotten for the last time!  

Nataliia and Nicolas came to visit me at home this week as well. I have seen them twice this week which is nice Philip is now a fully-fledged whirlwind and my home is not childproof. Everything has to be put up high. I have plants on the floor and glass bottles stored under the butcher's block. I think all children have an innate sense of what is dangerous and therefore interesting. Life is tough when you are under two and things mysteriously disappear just when you think you can play with them! I have a box full of children's toys but these aren't half as interesting as those forbidden fruits. 

This week it must be noted that JD Vance did to the Pope, what Liz Truss did to the Queen. Danger lurks almost everywhere!

Happy Easter!

 

Another significant date in the Christian calendar has come round. Typically, the weather has slipped into the miserable range of slightly cold and dampish for much of the time. There has been a bit of holiday spirit with the occasional glimpse of sun. In my mind Bank Holidays should be balmy so everyone gets out of their houses and smiles at each other. Once again this has not proved to be the case for most of the weekend. However, the towpath was heaving of Sunday afternoon. As one person commented. It was not the weather but the fact that the shops were closed that brought the walkers out in their droves.

Regardless, I have had a busy time, especially as Binny and Ana came for the day on Good Friday. As with many things in my life, things don't always run smoothly. Danielle, the girls and I have spent quite a lot of the week together and over that time, Danielle had complained about not feeling too good. At 2:30 a.m. on Friday morning she phoned me to tell me how ill she really was. She later told me she did this because she needed her Mum. I told her I needed my sleep!

I dropped her off at the Urgent Care Unit in the morning as she had mastitis. The girls wanted to stay with her. I knew that Ezra-Mae was worried about her Mum. Then I drove back home and waited for the call to go back. I picked her up and went to Central Milton Keynes Boots to pick up the prescription. I resented paying premium parking for a whole hour but then I needed it as the queue was so long it took 30 minutes just to drop the prescription off. I wasn't prepared for lots of walking as I was wearing flat shoes because I am trying to build my ankle strength by using barefoot shoes but I really couldn't walk so I bought padded flip flops while I was waiting just so I could get back to the car comfortably. 

So, after this expensive interlude, I got everyone back to my place so I could cook lunch with Ezra-Mae's help. It all came together - almost. Danielle slept in the spare bedroom, We had lunch without her. Ezra-Mae was so excited about seeing people who she could not even remember seeing before. She sat on the balcony to look out for the car. She loved having Ana to entertain her. As with every meal I make Ezra-Mae, she loves to have my homemade pickles. I call her Pickle because she eats so much of the stuff.

The whole day was a bit hectic. I forgot to take photos so all I have are the ones that Binny took - thank you Binny. I also had a brief introduction to Mah Jong. I think I could easily take to this game. I love anything "gamesy" and especially competitive, Canasta is the family go-to game but as it takes so long, Danielle and I have been playing dominoes which is really quick. Ezra-Mae and I play Strip Jack Naked which is good for picture recognition, counting and learning to lose to Nana! 

Pictorial evidence, thanks to Binny

Saturday was another day... I decided that I would sort out my blocked kitchen sink. I had already put Draino down to clear the blockage but it hadn't helped get the water moving, I took the bull by the horns and undid the U bend, It wasn't blocked. So all I had to do was put it back together. Easy! Well it seemed to be and then I poured water down the sink and one of the connections leaked. I undid the everything, put it all together and it leaked. Argh.... Richard's brother, Jim and Ezra-Mae came to the rescue. Their mere presence meant the leak stopped. I put some gunge round the joint and didn't pour anything down the sink until the morning just in case. So far, so good. 

I will put plumbing on my CV. Until the next time, I will look into Mah Jong on Google. I've got to keep those brain cells ticking over. I cannot rely on my new career as a plumber just yet.

Thankfully Danielle is now on the mend. Happy Easter.

Nothing to Report

 As another week slips by, there is nothing to report that is out of the ordinary. I amaze myself how my days disappear, especially in the glorious sunny weather that we have been experiencing this week. Everything moves at a slower pace when the sun is out. 

I am now up to my old swimming routine and have signed up for the Thames Challenge at my local pool once more. This week I managed over 400 lengths and I have started to use my legs as well as my arms. Next week, I am going to get back on my bike again. I am still waddling and not fully walking and uneven ground still poses a few problems. My biggest joy is being able to carry a cup of coffee up and down stairs. This is progress. 

In the garden, I have sown lots of seeds. They are already growing. This year I have timed the weather well. So far, so good. Last year I got my seeds growing and then the weather turned bad and they died. All is looking much better this time round. I have stopped falling over plant pots as well, so the garden looks less messy too. It is just those pesky weeds I need to get rid of. If only I could find the time! 

Behind bars! If only

Danielle has started sorting out baby things she no longer needs. I went over to help... mostly to keep Mattaya out of trouble. I cannot believe how much stuff she has acquired. When my girls were young, we were living on a small island. It was summer all year round and life revolved around the beach. I can't remember having much at all. I remember making a house out of a cardboard box and various other temporary toys. Maybe, even in the 80s we consumed less. Danielle has a long way to go to get herself sorted - at least she she made a good start. 

Wolverton Street Market

So with the weather turning to "normal" English misery, my week came to an end. Wolverton Street market started off in sunshine. Naser and I had a cup of coffee in the warmth of a sunny Sunday and then it rained... I helped out at the tennis club sprucing it up in the afternoon and it rained some more. At the beginning of the week, I told my neighbour I was going to be doing some tidying up at the club on Sunday and I predicted rain.... maybe I am just a bit psychic, or perhaps it is just that I am a pessimist. 

Working hard at the tennis club

April Fool

For once I have been scouring FB. This is not my normal habit. As a rule I look at the first three posts that pop up and then close the app. I became hooked after seeing an April Fool post and then I started looking for others. I was duly rewarded. There have been so many wonderful April Fool jokes - all well thought out and receiving serious comments from those who were caught out. The comments were as funny as the posts themselves. It is great to see people putting in the effort to keep the tradition going. 

I didn't play any tricks this year. I used to prepare my tricks weeks ahead of time. There was the rubber cockroach  that looked quite realistic.- that was a joke that ran and ran. Probably I don't do silly things because I am growing up at last.

On a bigger scale, America serves a daily diet of humour - except it is really ridiculous and sadly it affects all our lives. It is not actually funny. How can so many Americans have chosen such a stupid president? In less than eighty days he has destroyed institutions, made enemies of friends and wilfully misunderstood world affairs. Dickhead doesn't cover the extent of his stupidity. Worse still, our politicians here in the UK fawn over his every move. It is difficult not to laugh even though it is scary that a collective group of extremely rich, silly men have the power to bully the rest of the world. 

At least Trump has shown himself to be a failure. He said he would end the Ukraine war on Day One of his presidency. He has failed spectacularly. Nor has he sorted out Gaza - neither will Trump Tower M.E. style grow out of the rubble which is a blessing to us all. This world needs more normal - boring but everyday normal. 

Sophie, John and Naser in the April sunshine

Nataliia and Philip

Ita on the balcony in an arty shot

Finally, amidst visits from friends  - something I always appreciate, I have fended of an aggressive publisher which I didn't appreciate. I won't name the company but I give this man full marks for determination. Danielle was with me when the last sales push blasted me. There is no polite way to say this. He wouldn't take "no" for an answer. As Sophie is on the same path to publishing, I have shared my ups and downs of navigating this minefield. I have come to see marketing and distribution key to my needs so I'll start here. Did you know I am publishing a book? Oh... and it will be available in a bookshop near you! This is not an April Fool.