I'd like to share a secret with you. That is what we do with friends, isn't it? Facebook blurs the lines of what being a friend is though and if I told you a secret - absolutely everyone would know too. However, I would like to think that I have personally met everyone I have as a friend on FB but these days even those lines can be a bit vague.
Having been on a long trip, I have stayed with many old friends and met up with loads more. These are people that I haven't caught up with since before COVID times. Despite this, I felt like I had never been away. Time seems irrelevant in these cases. When I travelled back to the UK from Singapore in 2019-2022 I stayed in hotels. It was winter so in Europe, especially, it got dark early and it was cold. The moment I got back to my hotel room and closed the door in the evening, I knew I was alone. The nights were long so I felt this loneliness more. Staying with friends this time was so much nicer. It really was lovely to see so many familiar faces -reconnecting.
 |
| From my travels |
 |
| Old friends |
 |
| Catching up on old times |
We are told that blood is thicker than water. Being adopted shifts that dynamic. I was brought up as an only child. Both my parents died over twenty years ago and my only family is my children. Because of my adoption, I have been a square peg in a round hole for most of my life - not quite fully fitting into any group. I have also been tentative developing friendships and relationships as I fear rejection. Despite having so many friends on FB, I sometimes wonder what being a friend really is. Before FB, our friendship groups were four or five at the most.
How many of us can pick up the phone and call someone who would drop everything to help? I know I am blessed. I have true "friends" who'd drop what they are doing to help. However, I am of a stubborn nature and will battle on thinking I can conquer my travails without assistance. A good analogy of me is the Knights of Ni from Monty Python. One of them battled on after having limbs lopped off and remained game for a fight. I too, battle on and find it difficult to ask anyone for help and then feel embarrassed when help comes.
When things fell apart and my marriage ended, having so much support around me made me realise how important sisterhood is. As the saying goes - a woman without a man, is like a fish without a bicycle. Having been snorkelling lately, I saw no fish on bikes... so who really needs men, girls? Actually, we do need men... it is just that my criteria for the ideal relationship gets longer and longer.
It is therefore so surprising that I have any friends at all - odd adoptee, someone who can't ask for help, fussy about who I like.... an inexhaustible list to be honest. As for the secret, I know I am blessed having you as my friend! Truly blessed!
Thank you
 |
| Healthy competition |
No comments:
Post a Comment