The mundane

This goes down as a very low key week. While everyone else is gearing up for Christmas, I have been feeling increasingly sorry for myself. I have been hit by the common cold. Over the week it has come and gone and then returned. It has travelled from my nose to my chest and then back again. Wherever I have been, I have kept my disctance.

While this has been happening to poor little me, I haven't been able to finish my swim challenge. This goes down as a big failure this year. The challenge was for nearly 8000 lengths and I was less than 200 short. In a normal week I could do 400 lengths easily - errr.

I have also looked out at my garden with the intention of doing a tidy up. The weather has been much milder and there have been decent lulls in the rain. All I did for most of the week was look out of my window and mutter to myself. Finally on Friday I got out there and now all that remains to be done is the tree. It needs pollarding. Sammi did this two years ago now and with the rains this year, it grew back bigger than before. I am hoping Sammi will attack the tree once more. This will be his Christmas present to me!

A while ago I bought a bird bath and mini solar fountain for the robin that visits me in my garden. Either the sun hasn't shone powerfully enough to get more than a faint pulse out of the fountain or the solar battery isn't big enough - however you look at it - the dribbling fountain action is pretty pathetic. In the New Year I will get a bigger and better fountain along with more solar lights. New Year's resolution.... turn my garden into an outdoor room! I am hoping for an urban jungle effect.

The one thing I don't want for the new year is to find wildlife inside my home as I did on Saturday morning. On the stairs leading to the downstairs was a large, shiny, leaf-like thing - a slug!! I hate slugs. I know I can outpace them but they give me the heebie jeebies. I swept it up in the dustpan and accidentally flicked it on my right hand- YUK. I threw the pan and then started sweeping it up again once my heart had slowed. Then I noticed a trail around my hallway and into my boot. I bravely put my hand in. No more slugs. YAY. There was a silvery trail into and out of my bedroom too. I think it came in on the bottom of my shoes I was wearing to do the gardening. Neurosis has set in. It could have got into bed with me. I stripped my bed just in case!

Of the few social things that happened to me over the week, Nataliia's baby shower stands out. It was a small do. Her friends all came round to my place and we chatted for a couple of hours. Ezra-Mae was my little helper for the morning and did me proud with her table manners. On the flip side, she found some tablets in my bedroom, just as everyone was leaving, and put one in her mouth. Out of sheer panic, I turned her upside down, clenched her between my thighs and slapped her hard between the shoulder blades - normal, loving behaviour from Nana! Luckily, it was just the one tablet she put in her mouth.

Nataliia's baby shower

The bump

I also took Ezra-Mae to see Aunty Paula in Aylesbury. She obviously was too young to remember her last visit but she was so excited she talked about the visit all the way there. Apart from stealing an extra slice of cake, she was really well behaved. Aunty Paula gave her a very pretty Petter Rabbit purse which she instantly fell in love with. She held it tight as I strapped her into the car. 

Very soon though, after we set off she started crying and garbling on. I didn't know what was wrong and I couldn't stop in rush hour traffic so for 40 minutes she screamed while I drove home. I said things like, "Not long now", "Mummy will be so pleased to see you very soon", "Oh look at the sky - it looks full of it!" you know the stuff.. I think I even did a bit of cow spotting.... "look over there!".... 

Once home, I unstrapped her and found out what had been the problem. She had dropped her Petter Rabbit purse on the floor of the car. Mummy wasn't the issue. It was a missing plastic purse that had upset her for a full forty minuntes. Top marks for persistence, Ezra-Mae!

So with one week to go, Christmas awaits!!!

It's official

What happened this week wasn't just big, it was life changing and it is with the express approval of Nasser that I will tell his story and how much an impact this seemingly small happening has made to him. I  first met Nasser in Syria in 2009 while working there. I always travelled with my tennis rackets in those days in the hope that someone would have a hit with me. In Syria it was Nasser and his friends who made me very welcome. It was good tennis too.

Fast forward from 2009 to this week, 7th December, 2023: over this time our lives accidentally became entwined. Because Nasser stood for his moral values and refused to support the Syrian regime in its civil war that started in the Arab Spring on March 15th, 2011 opposing the people of Syria, this decision cost him dear. This choice almost cost him his life. It cost him his properties and his luxury lifestyle. It caused his extended family to suffer. It turned his life upside down. He still harbours guilt at how many lives he has dragged into this.

He avoided getting involved in the conflict and kept his thoughts private but this didn't save him.  On August 22nd 2012, he was threatened with a gun at his head and thrown into a hole in the ground. He was labelled a traitor of the regime. For the next 181 days his companions - lice and other nasties shared his underground cell. He lived with the uncertaintity of whether he would survive this prison ordeal. I cannot imagine being trapped like that for a few hours, leave alone that long. It drove him crazy. 

He was imprisoned for over six months in all and came through the ordeal. He and his extended family fled Syria for Turkey on his release. As the regime would pick up anyone who was linked to Nasser, no one in his family could safely stay in the country. That meant all his brothers needed to leave too. 

Nasser left his family in Turkey and went on to Sweden where he believed he would find safety and sanctuary. He didn't. He was considered a dangerous man so Sweden wouldn't grant him residency. They gave his brothers residency so they got on with their lives in a new land. Nasser couldn't even leave the country to help get his wife, Amira and his three children to join him. They came over the Mediterranean in an old, rickety boat.

Amira set off from Egypt for Italy with smugglers. You hear of so many of these boats sinking. Their journey wasn't without incident. They nearly lost Kenan, who was two at the time, overboard. They got to Sweden and settled but Nasser could not work. He was an illegal immigrant. In 2019 the authorities said he was to be deported back to Syria where ne knew he would face certain death. 

With limited options, he planned to come to the UK on a false passport. On January 20th 2020, he arrived, delcared himself an asylum seeker and was immediately jailed. The UN convention states you should not lock up victims of torture. Good old Britain! This is where I come in. I arrived home on February 1st, 2020 and very soon received an email from Nasser. He wanted advice. I told him, I'd get him out of jail but first I had to prove I was a trustworthy, upright citizen (don't laugh). Fortunately, I knew someone who knew our local MP so that was a good shortcut. 

Nasser's deportation to Sweden was stopped and I picked him up from Morton Hall on March 9th, 2020. He was a wreck. From then on, our lives were thrown together and we spent all of lockdown in each other's company. Neither of us had ever been with one other person for so long before. It could have gone tits up. 

We are still friends! The Home Office have been abominable but after nearly 4 years they have come good and stamped the document giving Nasser his first secure place since being thrown in prison on November 28th. 

At this point, I must praise the good work of Duncan Lewis - the law firm who deal with such cases. The amount of trauma they must see everyday must affect the lawyers who fight for the rights of victims of torture and persecution. Darren, from Duncan Lewis, needed to give Nasser lots of reassurance that sending his BRP off to the Home Office didn't mean he was going to be thrown out of the country. To think, I have been saving up for a trip to Rwanda to visit Nasser if he ended up there. Now I need new holiday plans!

So the Home Office have given Nasser the best Christmas present ever. He can hold his head high knowing that people believe him to be a good man. He has sanctuary for the first time since 22nd August, 2012. I live in hope that so many other people who are in this position can be given shelter. I always think: there but for the grace of God, go I. A UK passport is a passport of value! 

I wrote a chapter for a book - The Lockdown Diaries - my chapter tells the story of my lockdown with Nasser. Click on the link Lockdown

Launching

 

Just when Christmas is around the corner and there is so much to do and so many ways to celebrate, We have finally got the website for our business ready. This is probably not the final cut but it is the start of the new stage of my new career. So I am busy, busy, busy...

So welcome "www.boldfaceediting.co.uk" to the big, wide world. Please check it out and give me your feedback. Sammi has worked tirelessly on this and I am proud of him for his vision and his sense of purpose in getting it together. For my part, I have been the chief nag. I have come to realise I am quite good at this role. 

Facebook blocked my last post. How dare they? I am not particularly political and I am sure I am not divisive. Of my bad traits, the very worst is shouting at the radio. Since October 7th, I have done this more and more. I wonder why? As light relief, I have been laughing loudly at the COVID enquiry though. At the time, they played fast and loose losing too many lives. Who would have thought that Big Bad Boris made a balls up of the UK's COVID policy? At the time, a pub in Liverpool aptly renamed itself. Nuff said. 

One of the things that I have become a little obsessed with is completing my second lap of the Thames. This will mean, if I finish it,  I will have swam 116 miles this year at least. I have spent 10 weeks travelling during the challenge so that has given me less time to complete it. Now with the deadline extended for another two weeks it will be easy for me to do the remaining 400 plus lengths.

The temperature is -3c today. I swept up the last leaf fall from my tree this morning. The leaves were crunchy. The new bird bath was also frozen solid so my idea of making my garden homely for my almost pet robin is not going to plan. I just hope that this year I don't lose as many plants as I did last year. Later, I am off to play tennis outside it will help me empathise with the garden wildlife if nothing else.

Time for Treats

 Things are hotting up. Well actually the weather is getting mighty cold but my social scene is filling up quickly. This weekend I am in Brighton visiting Anne and my son, Sammi - two people who knew of each other but it was so long ago it was like a new introduction. Despite there being a chill in the air, the sun was gorgeous and walking along the prom really is something special any time of the year. So a big thumbs up for both the company and for the location. We even went dancing. What a wonderful weekend!

Oh, I do like to be... etc in nippy weather

Catching up with Anne

Last Friday I finally got to treat Danielle for her birthday which was a long, long time ago. We went to Bannatyne Spa in MK city centre. Top marks for the treatment and the G&T I had at lunch time but a definite, "Could do better" on everything else. The entrance to the spa was shabby, seedy even. The swimming pool needed a bit of a tidy up and paint job too. The man who was doing an aqua exercise class looked bored as he waggled his arms and legs half-heartedly - he learn a thing or two from the guys at my pool who have me singing along as I swim my lengths! To me, his attitude and demeanour summed up the whole feel of the place. He was just too weary to make an impression. 

Along with the venue with bits drooping, the menu left me with few choices. Remembering that this was a birthday treat and not a cheap one, I bought us both lunch which was mediocre to say the least; and at one point potentially a problem for me. Danielle had the korma - OK.. I think. I ordered a Jacket Potato with cheese and salad. The waiter / chef asked me if I wanted butter. I asked if it was butter. It wasn't. It was the worst sort of margerine laced with chemical additives. I told him I can only have butter. He shrugged. 

Also, being a jacket potato I expected it to be hot. It wasn't. It was a yesterday's not very appetizing, luke warm one where the butter would have remained solid if only they had butter. I complained. He gave me another slightly more luke warm one. Then was about to serve my G&T without the T... He was about to put dry ginger in it. What a Dick! I thought!!!!. This experience alone would stop me from returning... The massage bit and the facial were lovely but I won't be going back to that Bannatyne or another one.

Tesco on the other hand really put the show on the road with Santa centre stage. Danielle spent over an hour booking a slot to see Santa at Wolverton and it was well worth every moment she was left hanging on the phone. By the queue to the grotto were pop-up tasting stalls - lots of alcohol and chocolate! We were pretty stationary for some time so one of the stall holders started a conversation about my Furoshiki caveman boots. I ended up taking one off to show her the inside. She loved them. I loved her meat and cheese tasting stall - especially as I had got to Tescos straight after my swim and was very hungry indeed. 

Ezra-Mae loved the whole experience. This year she really knows what Christmas is about. It is the one where she will start her memories. Not being the shy and retiring type, she chatted away to Santa and he mostly understood her. Hilarious!! Thank you Tesco. You have scored some big points with me for that grotto. 

MK Centre

Ezra- Mae also went to MK Centre to see the Christmas stalls and fayre outside John Lewis. Again, this was done so nicely. Ah, the joys of the season.... and so much more to look forward to. Who said Christmas is for kids.... eh?

One more cup of coffee for the road

Posing on the roof of a mini

Meanwhile I have so much more to look forward to... more treats... more parties... more everything.... wonderful!

When the sun does not shine...

 

When the sun did not shine and it was too wet to play I stayed in the house and got on with lots of little jobs I hadn't quite got around to. I have now changed a lightbulb, re-potted some of my house plants, repaired a pair of shoes after two attempts, baked and made a most delicious potato soup. I have also tidied my wardrobe and found things I had forgotten I owned too. So now I feel really smug.

There is, of course, always things that could be done but for now that will do. I have been trying to swim the Thames Challenge for a second time this year and I hate to fail but I need to get about a thousand lengths done in two weeks but with everything else, I won't manage it. I have spent ten weeks away over the time of the challenge  as well and if I hadn't had a life beyond MK, it would have been easy. My priorities have been to travel so I only have myself to blame.

I also have my house back to myself for the time being. My Ukranian guests have moved into emergency accommodation with the help of Northants Council as Nataliia is pregnant and expecting a baby in January. The move went remarkably smoothly. The house suddenly feels quite large even though it is actually small. I think my fun time baking was inspired by me having my kitchen to myself but it wasn't a conscious reason for making bread and puddings.

I am also getting a bit excited about Christmas too. I have made space in my living room for a Christmas tree - another of my little jobs! The tree won't go up until December 1st. I have seen houses locally already decorated. If we were more subtle about our choice of decoration we could move seemlessly from Eid to Diwali and then onto Christmas before changing Santa's white beard for a Fu Manchu to celebrate Chinese New Year.

On the subject of celebrations, fireworks have been cracking and popping around here since Halloween. In Singapore we can't have individual fireworks so hearing the nightly whizz bang poppers going off is a wee bit more annoying as I haven't been used to it for so many years. For some reason, this  year has seemed especially annoying, particularly when it makes dogs nervous. 

Another time filler - pub quizzes

I am off to tennis in less than ideal conditions - oh how lucky I was living in a warm country for so long - I will be piling the layers on naturally... 

A Lifestyle Choice

My cousins in sunnier times

At Stoke Bruene 

The Home Secretary, Suella Braverman, has recently said  - among other inciteful things - that living in a tent and being homeless is a lifestyle choice. Who would have thought that anyone prefers to live in a flimsy tent in all weathers. In Milton Keynes there are a fair few who huddle in doorways or under bridges. The weather has taken a turn for the worse this week - torrential rain and dropping temperatures. This must make those homeless people's existence even more unbearable. What a ridiculous woman our Home Secretary is.

 I have been back in the UK nearly four years and still miserable skies make me think twice about setting off on my bike. I did so the other day. I set off for the swimming pool to do my lengths, got splattered with mud, pedalled through the sort of rain that makes you very wet, swam and then cycled home in the same conditions. I was annoyed with myself. Why do I do these silly things time and time again. I never learn. Maybe this is my lifestyle choice?

Also, wrapping myself up in my winter coat which friends say makes me look like Nanook of the North or wearing warm scarves causes little problems for me. I might be protected from all weather but I now have a collection of odd earrings. I have lost so many odd dangly ones as they get caught on the fur or my scarf that I am in mind to make wearing odd ones a lifestyle choice. Having said this, I once lost an earring on a bike ride and found it in the middle of the road on my way home and I lost another one a couple of weekends ago and found it outside two days later. So all is not lost. I can match up on ocassions still. 

Being wih friends and family has filled this week with joy. My cousin, Adrian and his wife Chris stayed for four days and then on Friday I spent a night at Jeremy and Diane's. This is a really good lifestyle choice. Making connections is so important for us old folk. We certainly had a laugh playing games while my cousins were around - Spoons with an international twist! My friends from the arse end of the village came over to make up the party. 

I heard it on the radio that as we get old we need to socialise and exercise. I am seriously working on both. Someone please tell me how much exercise is necessary. 

I am about to lose my Ukrainian guests after nine months. Nataliia is pregnant and of course wants to be in her own place and this will happen next week. In some ways I will be glad to have my kitchen all to myself but I know I will miss having her and Nicholas around. Nicholas has said that they are my pets and also that I run a free Airbnb as so many people come to visit. They too will be back to to say hi, I'm sure. This is a lifestyle choice I wish to keep up - always happy to host!

Hobgolblins and ghosties

 'Tis Halloween so it was not surprising that my planned train trips were blighted by delays on all four trains. The spirits from the nether world were clearly at play and wanted to aggravate my trip to and from Sheffield for Anita's Halloween party. Having a new phone found out I hadn't uploaded my old dears' rail pass and it took an age with a bad connection to prove I had really got one.  At least arriving at Tamworth after my connecting train should have gone would have been a whole lot worse. Apart from being rather wet weather, waiting outside for a train wasn't too bad. 

I like Sheffield and, of course, I love parties so I really looked forward to my visit to Anita's. When I finally got there (no thanks to Avanti) we started the decorating. We shrouded the house in cobwebs for atmosphere and put out some expertly carved pumpkins. All we needed were the guests. Duly, the Grim Reaper, Dracula, a few witches and other suspect characters turned up along with some "Trick or Treaters". The mark of a good party is how long the guests stayed. A couple let themsleves out after Anita said she had to go to bed. So on that note, it had to have been a really good one! Something even changed in me over the course of the evening. My name changed ever so slightly. To Sheffield, I think I will be an Angela for this day hence. Definitely there was magic a foot.

On Wednesday morning it was clean up time. The two cuddly Kittens, Babet and Bobby - recent additions to the Ingham household - ran amok, attacking brooms, and darting around. I mopped the floor and then slipped on the wet - ouch. I came out of that remarkably lightly. The worst was I hurt my wrist, I now have a faint bruise on my thigh as well but no other damage. 

In fact, I woke up on Thursday morning wondering why my wrist hurt and then I remembered. Is this a sign of demetia? I asked myself. Nothing too untoward or lasting hindered my day so I conclude that the Good Fairy looked down on me this time round. My wrist held together for tennis and swimming so I am back in action.

The area in Sheffield where Anita lives is full of character and characters. We stopped off at an Italian coffee shop, run by a Yorkshireman with a flat cap and a strong Yorkshire accent. Anita and he started talking in Italian - apparently he has a house in Italy. Then a lady came in and asked for her coffee in hesitant Italian. The coffee shop is small so without much effort the whole place joined in the conversation in both English, broken Italian and fully fluent Italian. I told them I had come up from Milton Keynes just because I had heard what a lovely cafe it was  (In English) .Telephone numbers were exchanged and more Italian will be practised in the near future, no doubt.

Then later on in the day in the very same street as the Italian / Yorkshire coffee shop, Anita nearly knocked over a fairly famous aging rockstar. It was his fault. He opened the door of his posh car without looking and stepped out right in front of us. If anything had happened it would have made it into the national obituaries but we couldn't recall who it was other than someone from Simply Red. You must have heard of them?

The Hobgoblins certainly made it difficult for me to buy two Wouchers for a Bannatyne Spa Day for Danielle and Me. I tried to do it up in Sheffield but it booked a Barnsely Spa. I have since managed to get both vouchers booked for MK but I am in need of a good rub down as the whole experience has been fraught with hitches. The front desk at Bannatyne MK is run by two of the most obnoxious of people who couldn't give a toss because it wasn't their pigeon. They made me feel like I REALLY want to have a good day out in their spa or perhaps just hit my head against a brick wall until the memory of this encounter with them fades sufficiently.

Ezra-Mae the Witch in search of sweets

My grand daughter really got into Halloween this year. She has all the words for Halloween things too. She came and spent a night with me, got a little over-tired and said she wanted her Mummy. I said she could have, "A Squash and a Squeeze", "Winnie the Witch" or "The Cat in the Hat". She said she wanted her Mummy. I told her to listen carefully to the options again. Her Mummy wasn't one of them. I kept a straight face, read Winnie the Witch and all was well. In the morning the first thing she wanted was Winnie. So I can conclude that through the grumps she actually liked the story when the option of Mummy was off the table. The Good Fairy was by me once more.